I remember standing there, staring at the desk in front of me, and at the phone I had just replaced on its cradle. I looked out of the window and took a deep breath, and then another. “Now what?” I remember thinking. “What am I going to do now?”
As I exhaled slowly and deliberately, these two questions kept popping into my head. In that moment, I was not actually questioning how I would earn a living, or what I would now “do with my time”. I had absolutely no clue yet about THAT. No – in that moment, I recall feeling tremendous relief that the decision was finally made and communicated and that it was done. I continued to stare at the phone. I was free, but the conversation was still bittersweet. I had invested more than a decade of my life working with this company, and I knew I had already stayed too long.
That day was significant for me, not because the choice to leave led directly to a completely different career enabling me to work less, earn more, improve my health and enjoy more fun, and meaningful connections in my life (although all of those things occurred). No, that day was significant for me because that was the day I connected the dots.
Trusting my instincts and honoring my values, I took a critical step forward toward getting myself well again, all by simply saying “No thank-you”.
That day was significant for me, not because the choice to leave led directly to a completely different career enabling me to work less, earn more, improve my health and enjoy more fun, and meaningful connections in my life (although all of those things occurred). No, that day was significant for me because that was the day I connected the dots.
Trusting my instincts and honoring my values, I took a critical step forward toward getting myself well again, all by simply saying “No thank-you”.
- I said “No thank-you” to an opportunity I knew wasn’t right for me or my family.
- I said “No thank-you” to other people’s expectations.
- I said “No thank-you” to the notion that one “should take a promotion”.
- I said “No thank-you” to being defined by my job or employment status.
- I said “No thank-you” to continuing to put my health and well-being at risk for my job or frankly for whatever else might seem more important or urgent or necessary going forward.
- I said “No thank-you” not only to being sick of work but also to being sick from my work
I was ready to change...
As it turned out, saying no that day actually enabled me to say yes to what really mattered at my core.
I said “yes” to allowing myself to just BE for a change, and to being ok with that. I said “yes” to uncertainty, and to being ok with that.
I said “yes” to allowing myself space to learn something completely new and to trusting myself to figure it out.
I said yes to a life that honors my highest values.
Eventually, I would say yes to a new career that engages my highest strengths and core operating preferences, and which continues to fascinate me to this day. Because of what mattered most to me, I consciously said no that day, so I might say yes to a healthier, happier life and to a career more consistent with my calling.
I said “yes” to allowing myself space to learn something completely new and to trusting myself to figure it out.
I said yes to a life that honors my highest values.
Eventually, I would say yes to a new career that engages my highest strengths and core operating preferences, and which continues to fascinate me to this day. Because of what mattered most to me, I consciously said no that day, so I might say yes to a healthier, happier life and to a career more consistent with my calling.
Where might saying no actually mean saying yes for you?
Originally Posted at https://womentakingthelead.com/when-no-means-yes-community-spotlight/ March 2016
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