This summer my daughter is heading off to college. This year has been bittersweet for me. I know that this phase of both our lives is coming to an end and a new phase beginning. This year has been a year of profound reflection for me as well. I have lived my life in pursuit of performance excellence. From my early school days, through college and graduate school, through each career move, and each next step (including raising my daughter), I have endeavored to help, to give my best, and to serve authentically from my heart. These efforts have inevitably kept me very busy over the years.
More recently, I have been focusing less on the activities of "doing" and more on the blessings of just "being":
- Being present physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally with my family as we bring this precious chapter of our lives at home to a close.
- Being with my daughter as she stretches to make the decisions that, yes, will affect the rest of her life, and which, no, are not going to mean the end of the world if things don't go exactly as planned.
- Being with the memories of all of the people who influenced me as I grew up, and hoping that I have honored them in how I have lived, loved and served others, including my family.
- Being in forgiveness of myself and others - accepting the times when despite our desire otherwise, we have not been at our best or would like to have done better, knowing we are human.
- Being grateful for the blessing of knowing those special souls who see only potential in others. My experience with them has had a profound effect on my spirit, empowered my own resilience through very hard times and guided my soul in my professional journey, and, finally,
- Being fully present in the moments that slip away so easily as time inevitably marches on.
Original photograph, special thanks to Mr. & Mrs. George Erwin
As I reflect on days gone by and those special mentors and "human angels" of mine through the years, I am so grateful for their influence on my life. I wish I had said: “thank-you” more frequently, and kept up our connection more regularly. Of course, we did not have Facebook or Twitter back then, and it was easier to lose touch when moving back and forth across the US and overseas for so many years. Associations, both personal and professional, can also change dramatically after graduation, job changes, and yes, divorce, especially the high conflict type. We all get busy with day to day survival and pursuit of dreams and passions. It becomes more of an intentional effort to stay connected (Facebook notwithstanding). We get busy and lose touch. We tell ourselves: “our association was a season,” and we just keep moving forward.
The blessing of "being" for a change, is that it offers a chance to pause and to reflect, and to focus on the core of what really matters in this life. For each of us that can be different and for many of us it is the same:
Connection, Meaning, Gratitude, Relationships,
Authenticity, Accomplishment, Contribution
Purpose, Passion, Peace….
Energy, Enjoyment, Genuine Joy...
Authenticity, Accomplishment, Contribution
Purpose, Passion, Peace….
Energy, Enjoyment, Genuine Joy...
Q: What really matters for you?
I can’t say that I would or could do things differently again, but, if I could connect with those human angels and significant mentors, I would say THANK-YOU and also ask for forgiveness.
- Forgiveness for my part in our lost connection
- Forgiveness if I did not say thank-you enough or at all
- Forgiveness for not looking back sooner
It is my hope that I can still honor each and every one of them in the way that I choose to pay forward their care, kindness, compassion, belief, passion, inspiration, enthusiasm, support, example, friendship, mentorship and commitment to excellence, and so much more which they so graciously shared with me. It is my hope that I can one day (sooner rather than later) share with them personally how grateful I truly am for their influence, however recent or long ago. And it is my sincere hope that anyone reading this might be inspired to pause, however briefly, to be present in the moments that matter, to appreciate the seasons and to say a heartfelt, sincere, “thank-you” sooner, and more often.